Non-binary Russian Doll actor sues NYC hotel after being ‘forcibly removed’ from women’s restroom

A non-binary actor known for playing characters across the gender spectrum was “forcibly removed” from a hotel bathroom by a security guard who unlawfully barged into the stall they were using and demanded they leave immediately, according to a state civil rights lawsuit reviewed by The Independent.

At the time, 30-year-old Wesley Han, who has appeared in Russian Doll, Daughter of the Bride, and Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, among other films and TV shows, was wearing women’s slacks, a Dion Lee blazer, heels, earrings, and was carrying a purse, an ensemble their complaint describes as “an elegant, unmistakably feminine-coded outfit that reflected Wesley’s style, identity, and confidence.”

“When Wesley is dressed in more traditionally feminine attire, they generally prefer to use the women’s restroom,” the complaint says. “Based on Wesley’s lived experience, doing so is significantly less likely to provoke harassment and is less likely to be off-putting to other restroom users.”

Han told The Independent that they have been doing so “for years without incident or remark.”

This is generally the most considerate choice for all involved, Han said on Thursday, adding that men in restrooms sometimes “react to me as one would a very large spider: with fear, and an impulsive desire to flatten me.” And although some men are uncomfortable with sharing space with Han, their interactions with women have usually been far different.

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“If anything, I tend to receive quite a lot of lovely compliments while waiting in line for a stall,” Han said.

None of the women at the March 5 gathering at Manhattan’s exclusive Soho Grand hotel appeared to register Han as male, and no one objected to Han’s presence in the ladies’ room, according to the complaint. Still, it says, the security guard demanded that Han – who was on the toilet when they suddenly heard a loud voice ask if anyone there had “seen a man enter” the lavatory – pull up their pants and leave immediately.

“I could feel the blood draining from my face instantly because I knew he could only be talking about me, but on the other hand, there was some small absurd part of me that didn’t believe this could be happening,” Han said. “This was New York City – if there’s anywhere in the world where you can pee in peace, surely it was here?”

The guard did not allow Han to wash their hands, instead escorting them to the men’s room to do so, all the while treating them “as though they were dangerous, predatory, or sexually deviant simply for using the restroom that corresponded with their gender expression and presentation that evening,” the complaint states.

Although New York law expressly prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender identity or gender expression, Han’s complaint says the Brooklyn-based performer subsequently felt “pressured and obligated” to use the men’s restroom for the rest of the night, turning what was meant to be a “fun and memorable evening” into a “deeply humiliating and distressing ordeal.”

“This was New York City – if there’s anywhere in the world where you can pee in peace, surely it was here?” Han told The Independent.

In an email, a Soho Grand spokesperson said, “We are committed to full compliance with all federal, state and city non-discrimination laws, including those protecting individuals on the basis of gender and sexual orientation, and we have always been a safe space for the LGBTQIA+ community since our inception. But we cannot comment on pending litigation.”

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After graduating from Swarthmore College, where they were awarded the Kaori Kitao Humanities Fellowship for playwriting, Han went on to develop a career as a performer capable of playing male, female, and non-binary roles, according to their complaint, which was filed Wednesday in New York County Supreme Court.

In the Starz television series Power Book II: Ghost, Han appeared as “Pinky,” a queer, gender-nonconforming private investigator and a character that reflected Han’s “lived experience as a non-binary person,” the complaint goes on.

It says Han has long been aware that their gender identity and presentation do not necessarily fall in line with traditional expectations, so living in a diverse, accepting place like New York City affords them a level of safety and belonging often unavailable elsewhere.

While states such as North Carolina have enacted controversial “bathroom bills” that limit individuals to public restrooms corresponding to the sex listed on their birth certificate, New York has served as “a guiding star in the opposite direction,” the complaint goes on, emphasizing the robust protections provided by the New York State Human Rights Law and the New York City Human Rights Law.

Last month, Han attended a private party at the Soho Grand, a downtown hotel where rooms run from some $300 per night to around $4,500, the complaint states. Han chose a distinctly feminine outfit for the evening, according to the complaint, which says they have never faced “a single instance in their life in which cisgender women were upset, uncomfortable, or objected to Wesley’s presence in a women’s restroom.”

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“During the event, Wesley entered the women’s restroom and went into a stall,” the complaint continues. “Shortly after Wesley entered the stall and sat down, they heard a loud voice from the restroom foyer ask: ‘Excuse me ladies, have you seen a man enter?’”

The women present responded that they had not, according to the complaint.

“Undeterred, the security guard then entered the restroom proper,” the complaint says. “The security guard walked directly to Wesley’s stall, which was the only occupied stall, and said in a firm and commanding tone: ‘Come on out of there.’ Wesley, startled and humiliated, pulled up their pants and complied.”

The guard refused to let Han wash their hands, instead parading them in front of numerous other guests to the men’s restroom, the complaint states.

“Never in Wesley’s years living and working in New York had anything like this happened to them,” according to the complaint.

Han told The Independent that they were reluctant to make more of a scene and ruin the night for everyone else, and stayed to dance a bit more before leaving.

“I did use the restroom once or twice more, but I made sure to go to the men’s room,” Han said.

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Han went home physically unharmed. Others haven’t been so lucky.

In 2020, a transgender woman in Puerto Rico was shot dead after she used the ladies’ restroom at a local McDonald’s.

In 2024, a transgender teen in Minnesota had her jaw broken in two places by another student who objected to her choice of bathrooms at their school.

That same year, trans teen Nex Benedict died following a beating by three Oklahoma high school students allegedly upset over her use of the girls’ bathroom.

Although some instances of anti-trans discrimination make headlines, many more tend to go unreported, attorney Andrew Ortiz of the nonprofit Transgender Law Center told The Independent.

“I think these things, unfortunately, happen a lot more than we’re aware of,” Ortiz said.

Gender-nonconforming people must rely on a “patchwork of protections” across the nation, with anti-trans bathroom laws in place in 21 U.S. states. In Florida and Utah, criminal charges can be laid against anyone who uses a bathroom that does not align with their sex assigned at birth. In Idaho, Ortiz pointed out, it is now a felony for a member of the transgender community to use a bathroom that corresponds with their gender identity.

In Han’s case, a male security guard barreling into the ladies’ restroom would appear to be “much more intrusive” than a non-binary individual quietly using the toilet, Ortiz said.

Han’s complaint says they were denied the “full and equal enjoyment of a place of public accommodation,” and “deprived of accommodations, advantages, facilities, and privileges made available to other patrons and attendees,” contravening both city and state law.

“[F]or New York to continue being all of the things that it’s celebrated for, people such as myself need to know that they are safe to be their most beautiful, authentic selves here,” Han told The Independent.

Han is seeking compensatory damages for humiliation, embarrassment, emotional distress, and mental anguish, as well as punitive damages, to be determined by a jury.