Former firefighter drove eight hours from Maine to NJ to kill ex-girlfriend’s family after she broke up with him, court hears

A former firefighter who allegedly drove eight hours armed with a cache of weapons was “ready for war” and intended to kill his ex-girlfriend’s family after she ended their relationship, prosecutors said at a hearing Friday.

Brian J. Lanzim, 37, was ordered held in the Ocean County Jail pending trial after Judge Pamela M. Snyder called the allegations “extremely concerning” and “extremely violent in nature.”

Authorities say Lanzim drove from Bangor, Maine, to South Toms River on April 29 with guns, ammunition and a bulletproof vest after learning his ex-girlfriend, who is also the mother of his two children, had filed for a temporary restraining order against him.

“He was ready for war,” Assistant Prosecutor Mara Brater said during the hearing. “He armed himself with two firearms. He armed himself with a bulletproof vest. He had 15 large capacity magazines in his trunk.”

Prosecutors allege Lanzim intended to kill or seriously harm his ex-girlfriend’s family in an effort to gain custody of their children.

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“His goal was not simply to hurt the victims, but his children’s mother’s family so he could obtain full custody of his children,” Brater told the court.

According to prosecutors, Lanzim arrived at the Dover Road home shortly after 9:40 p.m. but the intended victims had already fled the home and called police. Lanzim drove his vehicle toward responding officers, who ordered him to stop and drop his weapon, but he refused.

Officers opened fire, striking Lanzim in the hand and pelvis. He was transported to Jersey Shore University Medical Center before being moved to the Ocean County Jail.

In court on Friday, Judge Pamela M. Snyder read several alleged threats Lanzim made before arriving at the family’s home. One read: “If your father is there I’m going to take him out,” adding that Lanzim allegedly threatened to render him “pulseless in the driveway.”

Another was about their children: “If I can’t have you no one can,” and “If you stand between me and my kids I’m going to do what I need to do.”

Defense attorney Marissa Koerner argued Lanzim was suffering a severe mental health crisis triggered by the breakup and longstanding bipolar disorder.

“‘I f***ing lost her, man. Tell her and the boys I love them,’” Koerner read from the affidavit during the hearing. “He loves his family.”

Koerner argued the incident “almost seemed like a death by suicide by cop,” claiming Lanzim wore body armor to “force a kill shot to the head.” She said he had been receiving psychiatric treatment in Maine.

Lanzim, who spent 18 years working as a firefighter and EMT in Ocean County, moved to Maine in September 2025 for a job with Brinks Security, according to testimony during the hearing. Prosecutors said he lost the job in March and had been “spiraling out of control” afterward.

Lanzim is charged with three counts of attempted murder, home invasion burglary, terroristic threats, unlawful use of body armor, weapons offenses and 22 counts related to possession of large-capacity ammunition magazines.

He is scheduled to return to court on May 18.